So Fresh & So New

I'm back. In Seattle. Writing this blog.

The last entry I posted still had me working at the San Jose Rep box office and freelance designing. For those of you unaware, SJ Rep closed earlier this year due to budgetary issues. I left a year before, but it still hit hard. More on this later.

After moving on from SJ Rep, I freelanced exclusively with a few on-the-side jobs like Starbucks and production management. And then I began work at Aurora Theatre in Berkeley. It was a stretch for me to commute to, but the best decision I've made about full-time employment. More on this later, too.

But just a month ago we made the move to Seattle, a decade-long dream of mine since leaving for college. When my parents moved from Seattle to North Carolina just before I graduated from Grinnell, I was so disappointed I wouldn't be able to move back to my hometown and be a part of theatre where my love of the art began. In retrospect, the journey I took instead--Portland, ME to Dallas, TX to Greensboro, NC to the Bay Area--broadened and deepened my understanding of theatre in this country and my role as a theatre-maker here. Now that I'm back in Seattle, I'm pumped and prepared to do so much more than if I'd come fresh out of college.

Now, after 18+ months hiatus from this blog, I'm also prepared to put the proverbial pen-to-paper to start talking about how I view theatre and how it can be better. When I began this blog I just wanted to write intellectual things and challenge myself to write more. That hasn't changed much, but I also want to open up the conversation. With four years of professional work under my belt in a vibrant, amazing theatre community, I have returned to a theatre community that is near-and-dear to my heart but also seems to be in trouble.

Within the first week of arriving in Seattle, Balagan Theatre, the darling-child of the mid-sized theatre scene in Seattle closed amidst very unhealthy financial practices. The closure has been covered nationally. And I encourage you to read-up because there isn't much need for me to rehash it here.

A short time later, Mike Daisy's article "The Empty Spaces" was republished in The Stranger (original publication was, reportedly, in 2008). The article struck a nerve and I expect it was re-released to coincide with the questions floating around the closure of Balagan AND Mike Daisy's performance at CalShakes earlier this month. I actually found the article, not through any Seattle channels,  but through industry friends in North Carolina. We, as the younger generation of actors and artists coming up through theatre are struggling because, as Daisy says, theatre in America is the place for administrators not artists.

Oh, yes.

Because I work as an admin again and my art is on hold as I get my foot-hold in this new community. And it hurts my heart and makes me sad. BUT! I'm not going to sit idly by. That's what resurrecting the blog is about. I've struggled for the last 18 months about wanting to write about many things but felt too afraid of getting myself in trouble because the community is small. I know I run that risk now, but I can also talk about things that I learned in the Bay Area, now removed from it, that don't run the risk of destroying my professional life. And, damnit, there has to be a way to be critical without pissing people off.

Well, here goes.

Keep on Keeping On

Every once in a while I think, hey, I should write about that on my blog/in my journal/to my friends. Rarely does this occur where I can immediately act on the impulse (generally it happens in my car while stuck in traffic, mulling over the day). So, yes.

I don't have any illusions about becoming an amazing blogger. At this point there isn't much that I'd put out into the world that would interest anyone beyond my immediate circle of friends. Nevertheless, I don't want to say the blog is dead. In fact, I seem to get quite a few visits to my post about prop money so maybe I'll do more How To's. Who knows.

But for now, things are changing. CT and I are married. WHAT?!? Yes, married. It was a great ceremony at my step-mother's house in Chapell Hill, NC. Very small and simple. Still expensive, but good. We're anticipating a move closer to friends and San Francisco. So, woo.

More to come, I hope.

California or bust

Today we leave. Today my world changes and shifts. Today I feel like I jump off a cliff.

Moving is scary, stressful, and expensive. But I am excited. And I am so glad to be doing this with CT. Despite all the stress and arguments and questions. Yep, I am one lucky girl.

First stop, Jackson, TN. Stay tuned.

Kindness and Generosity

The best part of moving: having to clear out your pantry. This means you can justify eating pancakes for lunch. :)
The worst part(s): too numerous to count.

Though my silly eating habits may seem interesting, what I did want to write about is how awesome people are. A while ago I posted on Facebook that I was accepting donations for my "Sunnyfund" and in return people would get some framed art. And I got some donations! As well as family who have offered money with no expectations at all because they want to make this move the best it can be. I am so extremely blessed.

And what this got me thinking was how much I cannot wait to be employed and able to help other people out. I've donated to a few charities when I've had some extra money (especially when I came into money that was purely gifts, like scholarships/refunds). But I've had to turn a blind eye to some of my family's troubles in the recent past and that sucks.

My family hasn't always had a lot, but one thing that I will never forget is how amazingly generous they all are. Seriously. When I broke up with S., my grandmother sent me $300 to help me get through the winter with the sudden shock to my finances. And now my mom and her person, Bob, are sending me a little money for gas. It's nice to be surrounded by people that will share their last dollar with you. I look forward to being able to do that someday.

Okay, back to to the pancakes.

The Real World

Okay, most of you already know this, but in three weeks I'm moving to California. And in 4 weeks I start my job at California Theater Center as their Set/Prop Designer & Painter. For reals, I have a job. I will have an MFA and I will have a job. And I also have an apartment. In California. Sunnyvale, California.

Do you know what else I have: CT Hall. It's weird to think that a little less than 2 years ago I broke up with "The One." I was devastated about being alone, but I embraced all the exciting possibilities I felt I had, being untethered to someone. One of those exciting possibilities was getting to date people! And then, 8 months ago, I had coffee with the last guy I was planning on having coffee with, not because I felt that sure of his awesomeness, but because classes were starting up again and I knew dating was going to have to take a backseat to my last year in grad school.

Little did I know that the man sitting across from me would be the last person I "had coffee with" because he would be "The New One."

CT and I have come a long way in the last 8 months. And this update isn't about being super gushy about him, but I do want to give credit where credit is due. His dedication to making our relationship work and his excitement about all of the possibilities that lay before us (remember that part of the break up before?) has helped cement in my mind why we are still together. And, as far as I can tell, I probably wouldn't have take the CTC job so easily and light-heartedly if I didn't know I'd have such a wonderful person by my side.

Now, you may be wondering, like me, whether I am just incapable of being alone since I am talking about my love for CT via my need for a companion. And while I will not lie and say that that hasn't cross my mind, I honestly believe that people come in and out of our lives for a reason. In many ways, I would not have made it to graduate school if I hadn't been at the point I was with S, believing him to be by my side on that harrowing journey. And it was fortunate that we didn't break up until I was entrenched in my second year, or I may not have stuck out the rest of the program. This is not to say that CT is merely my pillar of strength to get me through this big move. This is just an example of how much better we can be together. (That's the universal "we.")

I expect that over the next few weeks I will be posting a lot about my fears and stresses over the move, but I wanted to start by talking about the sanity that CT brings to my life. Poor guy has been dealing with some very strong personalities in my family this weekend, and has been nearly a saint (but he is human, as am I, and I don't blame him for that).

Consider this a preface to the next chapter in my artistic life. I won't gush too much more about CT (really, what you will get will be merely what has to be said), but know that behind every entry is this person, who holds my hand and massages my neck and reminds me how very fortunate I am.



At Wrightsville Beach, NC