Well, Pericles is open and good. We never managed to replace the noisy jack-chain in the bottom of the curtains that fly in and get moved about, but I think that the actors have been able to manipulate them in such a way to reduce noise. We tried all kinds of other ideas for the weights, but it was too last minute. If we'd thought about it earlier, perhaps before the chain pocket was created in the first place, we would have been better off.
While the opening of the show has been a relief, things feel less than awesome right now for me. I'm still waiting for a job to emerge and I'm struggling with some personal demons, while also diving head first into Orpheus Descending and preparing for SETC in Atlanta.
I ask myself, as we get closer and closer to graduation (just over 2 months at this point) what I'm doing and why. I felt a lot like this as I was leaving Grinnell, having been embroiled in nasty department politics and feeling generally burned out from four years of school. My time at Portland Stage really helped heal me and remind me of the passion that I'd followed into my college major. And now that I feel that I've found myself in this very familiar valley, I hope that whatever happens after May 6th will involve some more healing.
But what I have been trying to take away from the situation I find myself in is how I would do things differently. For instance, how will I be a better teacher and mentor? How can I keep students from being overwhelmed by academics at the detriment of their artistic development? How can I make the boring stuff, the red tape, the things that can't be gotten rid of be less important to the excitement of creating and collaborating and being involved in theatre?
I don't know that I have concrete answers as to what I would do, but I definitely can see the pitfalls. I had two lovely friends visit me this weekend and one asked me, where do you see yourself in five years. The honest/ideal answer is that in five years I'll be teaching. In five years I will be settling down with a family. But the reality is that I'm probably going to be teaching next year because that's the most tangible way that I can be employed. And while I won't have a lot of professional experience under my belt, I definitely plan on being the best theatre educator I can be, because I at least have a lot of experience in the system. And it's time to change it.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Education vs. Efficiency
Design! Design! Design!
Read! Read! Read!
Prepare! Prepare! Prepare!
Draw! Draw! Draw!
Apply! Apply! Apply!
Blog! Blog! Blog!
I feel like there is a constant harping on all the things I have to do right now, including trying, trying, trying to keep up with writing. I apologize for not, really, but I feel like I might drop dead at any given moment. Which means, you guessed it, I'm about to head into tech. Sunday, in fact, will be Day #1 of Pericles tech... and we are running around like chickens with our heads cut off trying to get ready. Today was both rewarding and infuriating. Rewarding because we started planking the main rake of the floor (which, without pictures, probably doesn't mean much to you, but soon). Infuriating because Education and Efficiency went head to head, and I'm not sure who won.
As an educational institution, theoretically we are supposed to be worried about educating the students who are serving Practicum hours in the shop. Thus, we (grad students, undergrad assistants, staff, faculty) are primarily supposed to oversee their work, offer guidance, and not just shove them out of the way to stand looking at us stupidly rather than wielding the tools themselves. So today we started planking the floor at approximately 2:30pm with two teams of undergraduate practicum students running the show (well, I was running it, but they were operating the tools and what-not). By 4:45pm, only about 1/3 of the rake was done and it had to be done by 6pm. It was a nightmare. I had the Technical Director, staff, and various other higher-ups breathing down my neck, but I was specifically instructed to be the Artistic Eye and not the labor. BUT! We were not making progress. We managed to get it done, finding a rhythm in what felt like the eleventh hour (and then our amazing Master Carpenter jumping in with his mad stapling skills) and finished by 6:15... but, as I said, it was infuriating.
At a certain point I felt like all I was doing was cracking the whip rather than paying attention to how the boards were being laid out in regards to color and staggering the seams. Though I feel like no major problems occurred, per se, I am left wondering why we allow this broken system to prevail.
In a carpenter's shop (where they are making actual things like furniture or what have you rather than useless things like scenic elements), young, unskilled workers spend time as merely hands cleaning up or holding tools (and observing). Why can't we do that in the educational theatre setting? Why isn't that considered a valid way to learn? Is it perhaps because many of our poor, unskilledslaves undergrads are forced into our scene (and costume) shops because of requirements, not interest? Thus, we must entice them to want to be there by giving them tools and letting them slow us down and screw things up (oh, you cannot imagine how many times I just had to let go of having a perfectly spaced out deck today...). This is a problem. It is a disservice, not just to the show (and design/designer) but to the students who are being entrusted with the responsibility to build things that they cannot. They get yelled at or they at least can tell when whomever they are disappointing is, in fact, disappointed. (I had one young man apologize profusely for his team's slow pace today, but really, who am I to get angry? They were doing the best that they knew how.)
It is irksome, and, as I may have said, we're behind. I feel stressed in a way that is unproductive. I can't do anything about where we're at and I know that someone higher up is going to complain, going into tech, about shit not being complete. And because I'm not someone who passes the buck or points fingers, I'm going to feel incredibly guilty and like I failed my own design. Urg.
Let's hope that by February 18th, when Pericles opens, it will all have been worth it.
Read! Read! Read!
Prepare! Prepare! Prepare!
Draw! Draw! Draw!
Apply! Apply! Apply!
Blog! Blog! Blog!
I feel like there is a constant harping on all the things I have to do right now, including trying, trying, trying to keep up with writing. I apologize for not, really, but I feel like I might drop dead at any given moment. Which means, you guessed it, I'm about to head into tech. Sunday, in fact, will be Day #1 of Pericles tech... and we are running around like chickens with our heads cut off trying to get ready. Today was both rewarding and infuriating. Rewarding because we started planking the main rake of the floor (which, without pictures, probably doesn't mean much to you, but soon). Infuriating because Education and Efficiency went head to head, and I'm not sure who won.
As an educational institution, theoretically we are supposed to be worried about educating the students who are serving Practicum hours in the shop. Thus, we (grad students, undergrad assistants, staff, faculty) are primarily supposed to oversee their work, offer guidance, and not just shove them out of the way to stand looking at us stupidly rather than wielding the tools themselves. So today we started planking the floor at approximately 2:30pm with two teams of undergraduate practicum students running the show (well, I was running it, but they were operating the tools and what-not). By 4:45pm, only about 1/3 of the rake was done and it had to be done by 6pm. It was a nightmare. I had the Technical Director, staff, and various other higher-ups breathing down my neck, but I was specifically instructed to be the Artistic Eye and not the labor. BUT! We were not making progress. We managed to get it done, finding a rhythm in what felt like the eleventh hour (and then our amazing Master Carpenter jumping in with his mad stapling skills) and finished by 6:15... but, as I said, it was infuriating.
At a certain point I felt like all I was doing was cracking the whip rather than paying attention to how the boards were being laid out in regards to color and staggering the seams. Though I feel like no major problems occurred, per se, I am left wondering why we allow this broken system to prevail.
In a carpenter's shop (where they are making actual things like furniture or what have you rather than useless things like scenic elements), young, unskilled workers spend time as merely hands cleaning up or holding tools (and observing). Why can't we do that in the educational theatre setting? Why isn't that considered a valid way to learn? Is it perhaps because many of our poor, unskilled
It is irksome, and, as I may have said, we're behind. I feel stressed in a way that is unproductive. I can't do anything about where we're at and I know that someone higher up is going to complain, going into tech, about shit not being complete. And because I'm not someone who passes the buck or points fingers, I'm going to feel incredibly guilty and like I failed my own design. Urg.
Let's hope that by February 18th, when Pericles opens, it will all have been worth it.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
It's a Busy Time
I want to write so many things, but I fear my brain isn't really awake this early in the morning.
I have been hard at work getting Pericles going and, hopefully, finished. We go into tech in 2 weeks. I will admit I've been a bit lax about it, trying to let the other students involved (like my Props Master & Paint Charge) be, well, in charge. But I think we're going to have step up our game. The show is deceptively complex. The two rakes, large wheel and fabric make it seem like there's not much going on. But this show is going to be about the details. A Shakespearean Odyssey, Pericles visits at least 5 different locales during the course of the action, and we've got to make the audience believe with props and furniture (and costumes) that we've gone somewhere new despite the lack of scenic shift. Hopefully it will all come out nicely as this is my last scenic design in my foreseen future.
I'm also in the midst of the design process for Orpheus Descending by Tennessee Williams. I am, shock! amaze!, designing the costumes for the show and having a good time trying to infuse them with meaning and character. Below are my thumbnails for Lady, the main character. She has these three costumes and then we see her 2 other times in her nightgown/robe. The idea is that she begins in a drab, unflattering dress (much like the other characters in the town) as she has been forced to conform to the societal norms of this small-town (aka Hell). But as she blossoms under the attentions of Val (the wandering drifter) and attempts to recapture her father's wine garden, her silhouette becomes more rounded and fanciful. She becomes more feminine and womanly and happy, despite her possibly unhappy demise.
The other character that I thought I'd share is the Conjure Man, to me the most interesting character and costume. He is the only Black character in the show, despite the script being infused with racial themes. The history of conjuring and conjure men is a part of Black spirituality and religion that traveled with them from Africa and became infused with the Christian and Native American beliefs and religions they were exposed to. Thus, I have tried to layer upon the Black body (which itself has social and racial implications) notions of the Native American and Colonial influences, making the Conjure Man not of this world, something apart, and yet very much influenced by it. We are still working out the details of his coat (does it make him too attached to civilization?) but this is really close to what you're going to see, I figure.
Other than the two shows, I am working on my 3 presentations for SETC. I have the two shows that I am competing with: Oklahoma! and The Waiting Room. And then I'll be presenting my paper on Feminist Design as well. (And doing Job Contact, which is a crazy free-for-all of talking to potential employers). I have a feeling that my SETC is going to be jam-packed! And it is in only 4 weeks!
On that note, I'm going to go do some more work. Or yoga. Perhaps I'll do some yoga to start the day off right.
I have been hard at work getting Pericles going and, hopefully, finished. We go into tech in 2 weeks. I will admit I've been a bit lax about it, trying to let the other students involved (like my Props Master & Paint Charge) be, well, in charge. But I think we're going to have step up our game. The show is deceptively complex. The two rakes, large wheel and fabric make it seem like there's not much going on. But this show is going to be about the details. A Shakespearean Odyssey, Pericles visits at least 5 different locales during the course of the action, and we've got to make the audience believe with props and furniture (and costumes) that we've gone somewhere new despite the lack of scenic shift. Hopefully it will all come out nicely as this is my last scenic design in my foreseen future.
I'm also in the midst of the design process for Orpheus Descending by Tennessee Williams. I am, shock! amaze!, designing the costumes for the show and having a good time trying to infuse them with meaning and character. Below are my thumbnails for Lady, the main character. She has these three costumes and then we see her 2 other times in her nightgown/robe. The idea is that she begins in a drab, unflattering dress (much like the other characters in the town) as she has been forced to conform to the societal norms of this small-town (aka Hell). But as she blossoms under the attentions of Val (the wandering drifter) and attempts to recapture her father's wine garden, her silhouette becomes more rounded and fanciful. She becomes more feminine and womanly and happy, despite her possibly unhappy demise.
The other character that I thought I'd share is the Conjure Man, to me the most interesting character and costume. He is the only Black character in the show, despite the script being infused with racial themes. The history of conjuring and conjure men is a part of Black spirituality and religion that traveled with them from Africa and became infused with the Christian and Native American beliefs and religions they were exposed to. Thus, I have tried to layer upon the Black body (which itself has social and racial implications) notions of the Native American and Colonial influences, making the Conjure Man not of this world, something apart, and yet very much influenced by it. We are still working out the details of his coat (does it make him too attached to civilization?) but this is really close to what you're going to see, I figure.
Other than the two shows, I am working on my 3 presentations for SETC. I have the two shows that I am competing with: Oklahoma! and The Waiting Room. And then I'll be presenting my paper on Feminist Design as well. (And doing Job Contact, which is a crazy free-for-all of talking to potential employers). I have a feeling that my SETC is going to be jam-packed! And it is in only 4 weeks!
On that note, I'm going to go do some more work. Or yoga. Perhaps I'll do some yoga to start the day off right.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Feminist Validation
Almost a year ago I wrote a post I titledTempestuas Validation. In it I explored how not being named one of the winning entries at KC/ACTF had crushed my ego. It was introspective but fairly mopey. Since writing that I went to the SETC conference in Kentucky and was awarded second place in the graduate scenic design competition for my design for The Seagull. And I researched and wrote a paper about the ideas of feminist design. Which I submitted to three conferences. A few weeks ago, MATC sent me a rejection e mail.
Today, 6 weeks away from the 2011 SETC convention in Atlanta I received an e mail congratulating me on receiving the Young Scholar's Award for my paper on feminist design. Even before I get to the convention where I will have 2 designs in the design competition (Oklahoma! and The Waiting Room) I have already won. My work and my deep thoughts about design and the design process have been validated. I am going to present, to goodness knows how many people, about my search for feminist design. I have been having trouble sitting still and concentrating this afternoon...
I think the most rewarding thing about the news is not the $225 cash prize, but that I am starting to feel the crossover of my academic pursuits and thoughts and my artistic endeavors. I am starting to feel like an artist-scholar. I can show how theatre design doesn't have to be brainless and about making a pretty picture, but about dramaturgical research and in-depth analysis of how our world operates. This is exciting, and I am, admittedly, geeking out. I love all of the academic work I've had my hands in over the years. I honestly miss it when I have been told to just produce sketches. In a perfect world I would be able to do lots of research and mull things over before designing the scenery or costumes for a play. Sadly, theatre doesn't afford that kind of luxury (and very few people would take it if they could, instead cramming more jobs together in order to pay the bills).
All of this is interesting as I start work on my next and final design at UNCG, costumes for Tennessee Williams' Orpheus Descending. I'm very excited about the project because the director wants to break away from the expectations of it being a realistic play, instead delving into the illusions and motifs and the undertones of the Orpheus myth (and racial and economic commentary being made). As the costume designer, I really feel like I'm going to be able to apply some of the feminist design questions. Things, finally, feel like they are coming together. It is a good way to wrap up my MFA. Everything seems to be culminating and I'm having to bring all of my education and skills to bear. Hopefully with very exciting results.
Today, 6 weeks away from the 2011 SETC convention in Atlanta I received an e mail congratulating me on receiving the Young Scholar's Award for my paper on feminist design. Even before I get to the convention where I will have 2 designs in the design competition (Oklahoma! and The Waiting Room) I have already won. My work and my deep thoughts about design and the design process have been validated. I am going to present, to goodness knows how many people, about my search for feminist design. I have been having trouble sitting still and concentrating this afternoon...
I think the most rewarding thing about the news is not the $225 cash prize, but that I am starting to feel the crossover of my academic pursuits and thoughts and my artistic endeavors. I am starting to feel like an artist-scholar. I can show how theatre design doesn't have to be brainless and about making a pretty picture, but about dramaturgical research and in-depth analysis of how our world operates. This is exciting, and I am, admittedly, geeking out. I love all of the academic work I've had my hands in over the years. I honestly miss it when I have been told to just produce sketches. In a perfect world I would be able to do lots of research and mull things over before designing the scenery or costumes for a play. Sadly, theatre doesn't afford that kind of luxury (and very few people would take it if they could, instead cramming more jobs together in order to pay the bills).
All of this is interesting as I start work on my next and final design at UNCG, costumes for Tennessee Williams' Orpheus Descending. I'm very excited about the project because the director wants to break away from the expectations of it being a realistic play, instead delving into the illusions and motifs and the undertones of the Orpheus myth (and racial and economic commentary being made). As the costume designer, I really feel like I'm going to be able to apply some of the feminist design questions. Things, finally, feel like they are coming together. It is a good way to wrap up my MFA. Everything seems to be culminating and I'm having to bring all of my education and skills to bear. Hopefully with very exciting results.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Family, Feminist Design, and Finishing School
Whoa, it's Sunday. I'm updating! I must be procrastinating. No, I'm actually waiting for photos to upload to Facebook, which is the procrastination, I guess.
I got back from a whirlwind trip to California to see my family. My grandmother had took a turn for the worse in October and CT and I were finally able to get away this last week. Unfortunately, she passed away the day before we caught our flight. But it was good to visit with family and introduce their special kind of craziness to CT. I was reminded of my strong desire to move closer, even if it is just by a few states. This whole cross-country flying is not cool. The family that I am geographically closer to now I hardly see, so obviously moving West wouldn't put anyone out (and would get me out of the South!).
In the last 6 hours I have been working on a few things, including submitting my Feminist Design paper to yet another conference. It has now gone out to 3. I don't really care if it gets chosen (okay, I do, but I know that academic papers are not my forte) but it's nice to know that people are thinking about the problem of traditional design techniques, even if just for a second before they reject the paper.
Meanwhile, tomorrow is the first day of the last semester of my MFA. I am nervous and excited. I want this semester to go really well (the last one ended horribly). I don't want the doom and gloom of what happens next to hang over my head while I finish up two more designs, go to a conference (or two?), and take a very exciting academic class "Race, Gender, and Performance." I hope that as things rev up, it will be good. Spring semesters have always been better for me anyway (I think the conferences help to give me something to look forward to and take a break from the other stuff with).
Okay, back to the pictures from California. I am going to take more pictures this year and I started there. I'll leave you with one of my favorites:
I got back from a whirlwind trip to California to see my family. My grandmother had took a turn for the worse in October and CT and I were finally able to get away this last week. Unfortunately, she passed away the day before we caught our flight. But it was good to visit with family and introduce their special kind of craziness to CT. I was reminded of my strong desire to move closer, even if it is just by a few states. This whole cross-country flying is not cool. The family that I am geographically closer to now I hardly see, so obviously moving West wouldn't put anyone out (and would get me out of the South!).
In the last 6 hours I have been working on a few things, including submitting my Feminist Design paper to yet another conference. It has now gone out to 3. I don't really care if it gets chosen (okay, I do, but I know that academic papers are not my forte) but it's nice to know that people are thinking about the problem of traditional design techniques, even if just for a second before they reject the paper.
Meanwhile, tomorrow is the first day of the last semester of my MFA. I am nervous and excited. I want this semester to go really well (the last one ended horribly). I don't want the doom and gloom of what happens next to hang over my head while I finish up two more designs, go to a conference (or two?), and take a very exciting academic class "Race, Gender, and Performance." I hope that as things rev up, it will be good. Spring semesters have always been better for me anyway (I think the conferences help to give me something to look forward to and take a break from the other stuff with).
Okay, back to the pictures from California. I am going to take more pictures this year and I started there. I'll leave you with one of my favorites:
Saturday, January 1, 2011
2010
Okay, so, last year I started this blog as a New Year's Resolution to write more. It worked for a while, but petered out with summer and this fall semester. It seems silly to reinstate that resolution officially (unofficially I have said it in my head) so I won't. Instead, I will write today, even though it is not Sunday!, and talk about a few things I realized this last week.
The end of last semester was rough. I had a really bad review with my faculty when I was expecting good things to come out of it. I have been thinking about it, mulling over some of the things they said, and one thing occurred to me about the accusation that I've got a bad case of senioritis. Last academic year I was on fire. My personal life fell apart but I used all of that to fuel my hard work and creativity for the year. I was on top of everything and went into the summer of work at UNCG not thinking much of the emotional and physical toll that I would have to pay for not really taking time to deal with what had happened with my ex and my family. This last semester I had a reprieve from lots of work because I only had two classes I had to take for the rest of my degree (my Master Production class and an Academic class). I chose to split those two up and take the Costume Seminar I was expected to take and do an Independent Study to keep me drawing. However, my energy and drive began to peter out. Some of it was senioritis, for sure, and I know that is what the faculty and staff at UNCG felt my lax work ethic stemmed from. But, in hindsight, I believe a part of it had to do with just not having the energy anymore. I used up so much on making last year awesome despite everything that I had no reserves to tap into when things got rough. I also know that working at UNCG this summer meant I had no recharge time (financially or emotionally) from an incredibly emotionally charged environment.
The sad truth is though I've come to realize that my senioritis doesn't just stem from being a a third year student who is ready to just be done, I'm not sure how much I'm going to improve over this last semester. This is not to say I'm not going to be on top of stuff, but like letting go of my extreme desire to be perfect and get a 4.0 when I got to Grinnell, it's nice to not feel like my nerves are on edge all the time because I must, need, have to get stuff done. No one else around me has ever really been as dedicated to turning stuff in on time and awesome. It's nice to allow myself to be human and make mistakes right now, because the sad truth is that if/when I get a job, I'm going to have to go back to being on edge because it will be a constant worry about whether or not I am going to keep said job.
But, for 2011, I am going to strive to strike a balance between work and personal time. I need to, for the sake of the two directors that I'm still designing for and the professor from whom I'm taking my last class, give it my all. Here's to hoping I can rekindle a bit of the former glory but not give myself ulcers at the same time.
The end of last semester was rough. I had a really bad review with my faculty when I was expecting good things to come out of it. I have been thinking about it, mulling over some of the things they said, and one thing occurred to me about the accusation that I've got a bad case of senioritis. Last academic year I was on fire. My personal life fell apart but I used all of that to fuel my hard work and creativity for the year. I was on top of everything and went into the summer of work at UNCG not thinking much of the emotional and physical toll that I would have to pay for not really taking time to deal with what had happened with my ex and my family. This last semester I had a reprieve from lots of work because I only had two classes I had to take for the rest of my degree (my Master Production class and an Academic class). I chose to split those two up and take the Costume Seminar I was expected to take and do an Independent Study to keep me drawing. However, my energy and drive began to peter out. Some of it was senioritis, for sure, and I know that is what the faculty and staff at UNCG felt my lax work ethic stemmed from. But, in hindsight, I believe a part of it had to do with just not having the energy anymore. I used up so much on making last year awesome despite everything that I had no reserves to tap into when things got rough. I also know that working at UNCG this summer meant I had no recharge time (financially or emotionally) from an incredibly emotionally charged environment.
The sad truth is though I've come to realize that my senioritis doesn't just stem from being a a third year student who is ready to just be done, I'm not sure how much I'm going to improve over this last semester. This is not to say I'm not going to be on top of stuff, but like letting go of my extreme desire to be perfect and get a 4.0 when I got to Grinnell, it's nice to not feel like my nerves are on edge all the time because I must, need, have to get stuff done. No one else around me has ever really been as dedicated to turning stuff in on time and awesome. It's nice to allow myself to be human and make mistakes right now, because the sad truth is that if/when I get a job, I'm going to have to go back to being on edge because it will be a constant worry about whether or not I am going to keep said job.
But, for 2011, I am going to strive to strike a balance between work and personal time. I need to, for the sake of the two directors that I'm still designing for and the professor from whom I'm taking my last class, give it my all. Here's to hoping I can rekindle a bit of the former glory but not give myself ulcers at the same time.
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